I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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