In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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