do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
