She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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