I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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