i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
