Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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