He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
