I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
