so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All the doctor said was why
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
