i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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