we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
