What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
