im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
