i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
