Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
