I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
