found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize