I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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