she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
