dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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