nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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