why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
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Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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