im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
