I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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