Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry about my life...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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