the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
