I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize