Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
