and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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