garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
