I faked an abortion last night.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
