I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize