what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
