its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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