I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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