last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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