..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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