She said her name was "party"
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
