fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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