Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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