I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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