so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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