It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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