im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
