Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
