He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
