the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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