Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
