Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
