Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
