ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
3pm strippers are depressing
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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