I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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