Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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