You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
