Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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