If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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