Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I have post one night stand depression
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