Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
