it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
please come you make the beer taste better
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
