Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
