Betty ford says i'm here all night
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize