i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
as a side note pls kill me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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