i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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