You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
40s are totally the cure
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
