i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize